The great disappearing act…

There is little wonder to be found in this post. Instead I offer you a cranky face in all its reddened glory. My face looks almost identical, but no, I will not be including a photo of that ~ many of you would be traumatized as a result.

Let’s consider for a moment shall we, where the bulk of Australia’s media are. The disappearing act started in early December. Most are still missing. They appear to have done a collective runner. This perplexes me because they don’t appear to care that their work/holiday patterns fail to conform with how the rest of Australia operates. I’m beginning to believe that in the hope of favourable mentions during the ensuing year, Virgin or Qantas have done some kind of group deal and jetted them off the continent. Certainly, none of them are turning up for work.

By nature I don’t think I’m a negative or cranky person. At least I try really hard not to be. But every year at this time I want the ‘ANGRY’ emoji to come to life and, just like the evil Stay Puft Marshmallow Man (think Ghostbusters), wander down Australia’s streets menacingly, randomly whacking media programmers (those that are actually still in the country) around the head with a very large, smelly mackerel.

Someone find me a mackerel…

Honestly? In what universe, dear TV programmers, do you genuinely believe that the majority of the Australian population enjoys watching re-runs, B-grade movies or failed sitcoms each and every night from 1 December until February 1? If you have to do this why not repeat some award-winning serials or movies?  Instead, just when the general public actually might have the opportunity to sit down and watch a bit of telly, you offer nothing but tosh, or, cricket. I’m not sure which is worse. Do you genuinely believe we like seeing repeated promotions for programmes some three months before they are due to air? Oh and how you further taunt us by not displaying the actual on-air date so we can’t even pre-record said programmes.

Photo credit: Ben Timony

Channel 7, if I see one more promo for the Molly Meldrum biopic, you will forever alter the affection I have for the genius that is Molly. And Channel 9, I no longer feel the need to watch Here Come the Habibs as the inordinate amount of trailers you are showing leave me sensing I already know each family member intimately.

Let’s look at the papers. Well actually let’s not because there is fuck all to see. Not one jot of insightful local opinion pieces, just rehashed snippets of world news, increased racing & sports pages and TV guides to help us wade through the above-mentioned dross. Few quizzes or mega crosswords, no supplements or pull-outs, which I am certain would be very popular during the summer months. No, instead we have newspapers so thin they aren’t even capable of wrapping the remains of the prawns we buy in bulk through the summer months. No wonder physical newspapers are dying a death.

Photo credit: beyondkimchee.com

What is it with ALL the radio presenters? Where have they gone and why? Are they all on a group holiday in Bali, streaming some quality radio from another part of the world whilst sniggering at us poor bastards left behind to endure the void? The remaining presenters not only don’t know how to operate the radio console but have little to offer other than chatting aimlessy about how they are going to walk Mt Kosciusko once they finally get off air. Thanks for that. Riveting stuff.

Back in the day, when I was a corporate lass, staff holidays were staggered to ensure that a group of core, quality and senior staff were always available and hard at work. I would humbly suggest that if the Australian media want to stay relevant to its audiences, try to inspire and engage to slow the rush to digital programming from other parts of the world, they would do well to get back to work ~ now.

Until next time…